SURPRISE! INTRODUCING: MRS. TWENNY CENT
Ignore the inaccuracy, we all know Kaner could never wear white to a wedding.
So news breaks about Patrick Kane's marriage in Buffalo and cries of "Not so!" are taken up in the Deadspin mailbox. Just a few weeks ago we were reporting on Kane's offseason antics in Madison, and now we receive news that he's tied the knot at his extravagant mansion in New York?
Surely this story cannot be believed, especially when you consider who his reported bride was: none other than his often cited partner-on-the-ice (and now partner off the ice?), Captain of the Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews.
We kid you not. Keep reading, this gets better.
Not only is there the marriage certificate as proof, but there's also a statement released by the boys themselves, in which Mr and Mrs. Twenny Cent talk about their constant and undeniable attraction.
And it doesn't even end there! Our intrepid Kaner and his new wife, old captain Toews released a You Can Play video complete with love eyes and wedding rings.
Is this legit? Or is Patrick Sharp upping the ante on trolling not only the Blackhawks locker room, but the entire NHL?
To see if this is the best prank in the history of the NHL, or if Twenny Cent really has found TWU WUV with good olí Captain Serious, we've gone back through the archives, and you won't believe what we've found....
[click here to read more]
Frankly, we're not sure if we should be impressed or uncomfortable with the amount of detail we put into this.
Well played, Twenny Cent. Well played.